Day 22: not actually day 22

hello. Guess what. I had a miniature failure. The morning of day 22, my world was turned up-side-down. Some really crazy stuff happened in my life, and I just took a break from weight watchers. I know that I recently learned that you can't take a break. I didn't binge though. But I was eating unhealthy. You see, when something really big and important and scary is happening in your life that requires your attention every minute that you're awake, weight watchers is not gonna happen. At least for me. Because my weight watchers is fueled by obsession. Some people can stay on weight watchers no matter what, but for me it takes so much energy and so much time on the internet that it completely dies when I got something big going on. This is not such a good thing because I should be able to have a low key version of weight watchers. I was trying to kind of watch it a little, and try to eat the same things I eat on weight watchers but just not count, but truly, I have to have some sort of numerical control over myself in order to have any control at all. And at first, I just ate what I wanted, but kept an eye on it, not to eat too much, but the last 2 days I kind of felt like I was sliding into the binge zone. Today things cooled down in my life a little, simultaneously as my stomach feeling like crap, so I decided to get back on track.

So let's see. I fell off of weight watchers for a week and a half. That's not so bad. I'm not mad at myself. Because once again for the millionth time, this is 100 times better than what I would have done in the past. If I would have done my blog every night for that week and a half though, I know I would have stayed on the diet. So tomorrow is Friday, so with 3 days left in that week, I will get 15 extras to distribute. (Another improvement on myself is that I'm starting on a Friday). And then I'll weigh myself on Monday, hopefully with minimal damage to report.

One helpful change that is happening in my life soon is that I'm moving out of my parent's house next week. So my days of brownie temptations are over. I will be living by myself, so the only food in the fridge will be low-point. (Another improvement on myself is that I'm getting back on the horse a week before a big change in my life). Worse comes to worse, I will find on monday that I gained weight, but will be able to get back to 65 by next week, so that the beginning of life on my own can start from where I left off.