Here is what's going on in my life. Yesterday was my first day at a new college. Its my first week living in my new apartment, away from my family for the first time ever. Going through all those changes made it impossible for me to write down everything I eat.
I realize I'm totally one of those people that's always on a diet but never loses weight. There's millions of blogs out there that just stop because the person gives up -being a person in search of inspiration myself, I can say that weight loss blogs and vlogs are very common, and ones where the person actually succeeds is very rare. I don't want to be that guy. I've been pushing forward my success for many years. And I always make a calendar of when I'll probably hit my goal, and then that date passes and I find myself on a break from weight watchers. I did watch my weight on this break, so even if this is the end for me, I did gain something big out of weight watchers which is a healthier way of looking at food, and better eating habits. So lets just say i stay this weight for the rest of my life. I am almost 20 pounds lighter than when I started. Also, I was on a slippery slope before, and at that rate I was going, I would have been huge as an adult, and now at the VERY WORST, I'll stay this weight forever. Also, I am just healthier and happier in general. No more binging.
But it isn't the end for me. It's the beginning. Again! I'm so annoying! But I think as far as the reader's benefit goes, this blog is inspirational because see how I fall off every single minute but I pick myself up every single time? Even if I never lose another pound, it's still success because I'm not gaining. But it's also very not inspirational because of my lack of success. I apologize, but I'm gonna do it for real now. I had the intention of it being real before, but now I'm on my own, there's no crap in my fridge. I decide what is in my apartment, and when I lived with my family, I was living in a brownie jungle.
Ok, so today I have a lot to accomplish. I have to run around school badgering people until my schedule is the way I like it, I have to apply for jobs in the city, and I have to start weight watchers again. The first 3 days are hard because you're not used to it yet. So I have to go in knowing that. Since I don't have any bad food at home, the hard part will come in when I'm downtown and my boyfriend wants to get ice cream constantly. So I just gotta say no. Or I can go to McDonalds instead and get a cone. That's not too hard.
The truth about my absence the last couple of days is that I was considering not going back on weight watchers. My view of food is so messed up since I was a kid, but ever since I got my own place, I noticed that my habits are gone, and I' like a normal person. Maybe I always was a normal person, but just a normal person surrounded my m&ms all the time. But I realized that living in America, you have to watch it, and really know what you're putting in your body, because I think I was still consuming more than I should have just because its america, and even foods that look healthy are likely to be very very bad. I just need to find a way to do this while not messing my mind up all over again. I remember when I first started weight watchers, the only diet I had ever been on was the adkins diet, so I went into weight watchers thinking it would be that hard. Then when I started, I was like -ah! This is awesome! And I really was just enjoying everything I ate. And that was a change for me because in the past, food was just a form of self-sabotage, and eating it wasn't actually that fun because I would grossly overdo it. So I have to get that mind set back of: oooh what am i gonna eat today!?
My school offers a free yoga class once a week. And I'm a musician, so right now I'm more focused on my music than my weight, but if I can turn this whole experience into something that will make me more healthy so that I can focus on my music, that would be good. Because I should be putting all this energy into my music, not my diet.
WEEKLY PROGRESS:
weight: 167.4
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