Day Six

I woke up today really really wanting to weigh myself, but I didn't. Sometimes weighing yourself early can mess things up. Cuz you see you haven't lost anything yet, and then you give up, and then the next 2 days you do really poorly because you're discouraged, then you end up really not losing anything. But I really feel like I lost weight, and I still have 2 more days before I weigh myself. I'm really excited because I have faith in myself again

I really want to join a weight watchers group, but I can't afford it. It would be so helpful to have something weekly to string myself along. Plus they give you all kinds of cool toys and stuff. And good advice. And inspiration. And you see other people succeeding so you want to do the same. I know that once you reach your goal you don't have to pay anymore, so maybe I'll join when I'm closer to my goal.

This really gets easier as the days go by. And this whole not eating more extras than I'm supposed to thing was hard the first couple days. Even though I've been on weight watchers forever, it was an adjustment to start doing it right. And now it's starting to get a lot easier.

...I did of course cut it really close. I only have 3 extras left. Potentially 23 points could be more than enough. But when you live with your mother, you eat what is served, and what is served is usually really high in points... So maybe I'll have yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and a pb&j for dinner. And that's only 7 points, so the rest can be on whatever I want. It's seriously that simple. It's amazing how it can be SO easy or SO hard depending on what kinds of foods you eat. I think weight watchers has a new program called the momentum program that's all about eating filling foods that are low in points. And its so smart because you could totally stuff yourself with vegetables until you're barfing and still have 23 points left for the day. Wow!! When I move out, I will be SOOO healthy, and this will be SOO much easier.

Advice of the day: Try the "No Pudge" brownies. You use non fat yogurt instead of eggs and stuff. One large brownie is only 2 points, and they taste EXACTLY like regular brownies. They're SO goooooood!!!

POINTS EATEN TODAY: 26

Day Five: Momentum

Momentum is a very important subject when it comes to anything in life, especially weight watchers. Its totally in your head, but by day 5 of this, saying no to a certain food feels more like a rule that someone else gave me than a rule I gave myself. They say that you have to have self control, but SELF control is something that's really hard, and you don't want to be doing something that's hard for the rest of your life -you have to find a way to make it easy on yourself. And building momentum is the best way to do that. Your loyalty is to the chart on your wall rather than what you see when you look down at your belly. Having something that's rolling on it's own is the best way to create that feeling for yourself. For me, its the work I did in the recent past. It's seeing how many points I've eaten everyday for the past week right in front of me. I don't need to make myself feel like I let myself down, I just stay within my points so I don't let the chart down.

This is why it's very important to stay perfectly within your points each week. Because a little slip up, and you lose the momentum... And I hope you realize by now I mean mental momentum, not physical. It won't actually stunt your weight loss if you accidentally eat 36 extras one week, but it will (if you're me) totally stunt your mental momentum. AND THAT WAS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM THIS WHOLE TIME. You see, at first, whenever I went over my 35 extra, I would give up and fall off of weight watchers. Then I realized that I needed to be easier on myself, so I continued to stay on even if I ate like 65 extra that week. Of course that was really smart of me because when I fall off, I probably eat more like 300 extra a week. So I wasn't gaining weight all year, but I wasn't losing any. So as I enter this new phase of my weight watchers journey -you know, the starting fresh phase, I will both stay in my points every week, AND not fall off. Imagine that.

And I feel the same right now as I did a couple days ago: Bored and can't think of anything else in the world I want to do besides eat... But somehow it's WAY easier to ignore today, because I have 4 days of success behind me. AND IT'S ONLY DAY 5 PEOPLE!!! That's so nothing. And yet, the science of momentum is so strong that it already has an effect after only 5 days. And right now, I'm excited about this, because I finally believe that I can do it. And by Christmas I'll probably be 130 pounds.

Advise of the day: Somehow figure out how do get through 4 days, and then ride the momentum forever.

POINTS EATEN TODAY: 27